A couple of weekends ago I went home to see my grandparents and to introduce Coco to her great grandmother and great grandfather. We had a photo of the 4 generations and it got me thinking about writing a post on 3 generations of weddings – 1942, 1975 (I think that is when my parents got married) and then Alex and I in 2008. There is so much talk about the 1920’s, 30’s and 40’s –I feel so lucky to hear it first hand from my grandma and find out what a 1940’s wartime wedding was really like. We’re talking rations, coupons and a very basic affair, no dancing, a couple of guests, a honeymoon and then back to work in the services.

What I find amazing, and very difficult to comprehend is that from the minute my grandparents first met, until quite a long time after the birth of their first child, they were unable to truly be together. They were both posted to different places during the war, Granddad working as a surgeon, whilst Grandma was working in the RAF (doing a number of different jobs). I know I’d struggle if I was apart from my husband for 2 weeks, but here we’re talking a couple of years – with babies, war and fighting in between – never knowing if you’d see the love of your life again.
Grandma says that despite getting married in 1943 they couldn’t start ‘living’ until the war finished in 1945 and Granddad was home safe and sound. Today, 67 years later, they are sitting here on the sofa, holding hands and recounting their special day to me. I don’t think that there are many couples still alive today that were married during the war and can recount their stories first hand – I feel very lucky to have the opportunity to record this little bit of family history, the wedding of Mary and Robert in 1943.

* How did you meet Robert?
I was doing Red Cross work, as nurse in a military hospital in Cheshire and Robert had just qualified as a doctor. I met him on 6th January 1941 (I can’t believe she has such a good memory) but it wasn’t until a few months later that we went on our first date. During all of the time that we were courting we kept in touch by letter, writing to each other regularly and when we could the odd phone call. Shortly after we met, when I was living in Bath (I had been stationed there) I took a week’s leave and went to stay with a friend in Cheshire. Robert borrowed his father’s car and drove me to Liverpool where we went to watch a Gilbert and Sullivan Opera. (After the Opera, there was an airraid, shrapnel hit the wheel of our car and we were stranded! An air force chap who happened to be driving past and got us a new wheel finally rescued us. But by the time I finally got home to my friend’s house it was very late -they definitely didn’t believe our story and thought that we had just been out later than we should have enjoying each other’s company!)

* How long were you together before getting married?
Robert proposed on 8th December 1942, so we were together nearly 2 years. During that time we never lived together, or in the same area as we were both posted all over the place. We wrote to each other a lot and when we could both get leave, we would arrange to meet in London. We would go out for dinner and then always to the theatre, and then back to our (separate) rooms in the hotel. We got married 5 months later, on April 27th 1943, in the Catholic Church in Newbury.

* What did you wear?
During the war we were given coupons to buy clothes (this was the time of rationing of food and pretty much everything) so I saved up my coupons and went to a little dressmakers. At that time my job was in Bath – I was an officer in the air force doing codes and ciphers (high secretively). The owner of this little shop managed to help me and made a pretty dress for my wedding using fabric that I could just afford with the coupons I’d saved up. I wore an egg blue pleated skirt with a black jacket, that was trimmed with the same material as the dress. Robert wore his best blue suit. Robert gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers on the day – I think that they were orchids (“you would have had the very best” Granddad shouts out from his seat on the sofa)

* How did you get to the venue?
I think I went in a taxi with my parents. My father didn’t have a car at the time, not many people did and even if those that did struggled to find petrol. Robert stayed the night before in a hotel in Newbury with his best man, Victor (who was also his cousin).

* What about your guests?
Well we only had about 14 guests – we had both our families and Robert’s best man. We didn’t have bridesmaids or anything like that, I’m not even sure if any of my sisters were there. It was during the war and it was a very simple affair – most of our guests had to hitchhike to the wedding, because like I told you hardly anyone had a car.

* What happened at the wedding?
The wedding was in the morning and was basic compared to how things are now; there was no music at the service, nothing to mark the entrance of the bride and groom. It was just a simple wedding service. Afterwards we went to the Chequers hotel in Newbury for the reception. My dad had somehow managed to get hold of a couple of magnums of champagne (which was very unusual at the time) and we probably had some bits to eat. There was no wedding cake or anything like that. No dancing. I don’t really remember too much about the reception it was all over quite quickly. The next thing was we were off on the train to London to start our honeymoon – I remember waving goodbye to everyone on the platform. The best bit for me was just being married and having my husband.

* What about the honeymoon?

We got straight on the train to London, spent the first night at Grosvenor House Hotel and went to see a show called Pat Kirkwood (singer/ dancer). The next day we got the train down to Torquay, and stayed in a little hotel called the Palm Court Hotel – its still there today, its on the east end of the front. We did lots of sightseeing by bus. After the honeymoon I went back to my job in Bath (we had to continue with our war work) and Robert back to his job as a surgeon in Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton. Just a couple of months later, Robert was called up to join the army and spent the next few years serving his country from places as far away as Burma. We were lucky that he managed to get a few days leave so that he could come and see me and meet his first child, Gillian, a month or so after she was born.

* How much do you think the whole wedding cost?
About £150

Grandma says that secret to their long happy marriage is that they have had to work at it, and support each other through the highs and lows. It sounds like getting married in the middle of the war and then being apart for so long would have been an incredible challenge for any young married couple. I think we’re blessed to have it so easy these days.

This post is dedicated to my other grandma, who died a couple of days ago, by the time I got round to seeing her she was too poorly for me to ask her about her 1940′s wedding (which was just after the war). So I feel sorry that I didn’t get to record that piece of history though we did manage to have a little chat about it and I have some beautiful photos from her wedding that I will share with you soon X